The Attendant


To kick-start this boggy adventure we will start with a twist, a toilet within a toilet. Toilet inception if you will. ‘The Attendant’ is a dinky little café just off Oxford Street that’s attracted our attention because of it’s interesting heritage. It was once a Victorian toilet and still has many original features like sinks, urinals and hand dryers. Health and safety must have had a heart attack.

The entrance takes you down underground into a little corridor café, with a coffee bar with loads of yummy breakfasty things like croissants and bacon sandwiches. My god it smelled amazing (nothing like an old Victorian bog should smell in case anyone was worried) and believe me, they really know how to heat up their milk.

The cracked white tiled walls and the black and white lino floor all felt very oldy woldy and vintage with a row of green urinals converted into a coffee bar. If your life long dream is eating where many a Victorian man has taken a piss then this is the place to be.

The actual toilet (as this is what we are here to talk about) is in keeping with the style and to be brutally honest, it’s pretty grimey, but the shityness and the authenticity of it only ads to the charm. It keeps you in the world of Queen Vic and her dodgy bogs. This toilet does however have 21st century potential, a nice big mirror for optimum facial coverage, not one but two air fresheners (its always good to be prepared) and extra bog roll for tricky situations. The darker lighting is always preferable for a moody selfie and the cracked tiled background just takes edgy to a new level.

On our way out, after we’d spent a penny and all our pennies where spent, we set off with full stomachs and empty bladders, but not before leaving our mark on The Attendant’s wall of fame. 


Wanna get the full 3D experience? Take yourself on down to Fitzrovia


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